There was a time when Letters to the Editor began with "Dear Editor" and then said something about (a) how the newspaper got all the facts completely wrong, or (b) how the newspaper finally saw the light and endorsed the right candidate for County Sewer Maintenance Supervisor.
We didn't have any of this touchy-feely poetic crap back in the good old days. Another sign of the so-called objectivity of the Liberal Press, if you ask me.
Next you'll be writing letters to yourself disguised a disgruntled reader in the hopes of creating a controversy intended solely to increase circulation. Well, I, for one, have had enough. Cancel my subscription to Phartissimo forthwith.
--A Disgruntled Reader